this infection

i often don't want to get out of bed
i lay on my back and i wish i was dead
i am malnourished and unfed
there's something wrong inside my head
there's nothing i can do, instead
i focus on how much i've bled

you haven't lived until you've bled
twelve years of bloodstains on my bed
i tried to fight it, but instead
i'll do it till i end up dead
i kill the world and close my head
i have an ache that must be fed

the poison in me has been fed
with all the times that i have bled
it fucks up something in my head
i can't get up, i stay in bed
i doubt that i will end up dead
i'll live a hundred years instead

when i want to cut, i smoke instead
it leaves the cutting urge unfed
i often wish that i was dead
i should be, with how much i've bled
i don't want to get out of bed
sometimes i live inside my head

there's a secret world inside my head
i wish that i lived there instead
i'm safe when i am in my bed
the witch i live with has been fed
it's just so cruel, how i've been bled
by the witch who wants me dead

i'd be better off if i was dead
and it was quiet in my head
it wouldn't matter how i bled
if i chose the rope instead
but then the urge would go unfed
i'd rather end it all in bed

i bled and bled, but i'm not dead
i rose in bed with a clear head
i live instead, but i'm unfed