this infection

i dig at my arms for a suitable vein.
when it all gets too much then i reach for the blade.
something in me is about to break
and i shall be found facedown in the lake.

these early hours have caught up to me.
it takes forever to fall asleep.
the threat of the man living under the stairs
is enough to make me pull out my hair.

i'd cut the tongue out of my head
if it meant that you'd shut up instead.
the hole, it grows. i ache and ache.
something in me is about to break.

i'll pile the rocks, i'll build the cairn
and wear long sleeves to hide my arms.
i do not sleep. i do not eat.
i think there's something wrong with me.

i do not smile. a chelsea grin
has been engraved upon my skin.
this isn't real. it's all fake
and i shall be found facedown in the lake.

nothing's changed. it's all the same.
i'm starting to forget your name.
something in me is about to break
and i shall be found facedown in the lake.