this infection

Of all the times I should have died,
flung to the ground so I could fly
and hit the earth, I didn't glide.
I started low instead of high
and as I fell, a whispered sigh
caught at my now-receding back.
There are some things you can't come by.
I don't remember. There's a gap.

When I was in juniour high
I was too thin and I was shy.
They used to spit as I walked by,
there was no place that I could hide.
Psychotic when I was inside
and lucid when they brought me back -
where were the doctors standing by?
I don't remember. There's a gap.

I should have took it all in stride.
There's something I should clarify -
when I was young, I should have died.
Mental illness glorified,
I stood there and was terrified.
The bones protruding from my back -
eight stone three or eight stone five?
I don't remember. There's a gap.

Now I stand at twenty nine.
There are some things you can't take back.
Oh where did all the years go by?
I Can't remember. There's a gap.