this infection

I was afraid you had left me
again, and disappeared into the
air.

When you came back, it was like a
magician had pulled a rabbit from his
hat. You tease me with hope, you tease me so
bad, it's a wonder you came back.

I have fallen back into a
trap. I smoke a pack a day when I
used to smoke half. It's the threat of you
not coming back. It keeps me on edge and
when the phone rings, I fall off the ledge.
I look for you in every car that drives by

but you lied. You didn't come back. You
are the rabbit tucked back in the hat and I am the
gap in the caul.

I am the bad magic trick. I am the
girl who's been bricked in the
wall. I can see through a crack and I don't
like what's going on when you think I am gone.

You think I can't see, but there's a
trick up my sleeve. You have cut me in
half, but I came back.

I have swallowed your wife.
How neatly the pieces of your
life align beneath the stage lights.
I will step on your back. I will
kill the black hat.

I was bisected. My magic
infects. Oh, how I will laugh.

I will come back.