this infection

Watching your dark coat retreat
against that dark night was enough
to make me realize that we would no longer meet
in the theatre on those long days. Your cuffs,
your suits, your shirts no longer need mending,
although I was happy to do it.
I will no longer watch you pretending
on stage, nor admire the way your clothes fit
on those long limbs. You are the only man
big enough for me, the only man I could
picture myself being with. I no longer can
avert my eyes from you and raise my hood.

I look at you from across the room.
I know that I will not see you soon.